当你跟别人发生分歧的时候，你会怎么处理? 是装做没有事情发生? 是自己生闷气? 是就此跟朋友绝交? 还是跟对方坐下来好好谈谈，努力解决分歧呢? 如果你选择最后一个解决方案，Bingo! 这就是我们今天要教的习惯用语：Clear the air.

To clear the air 清除两人间不愉快的气氛，其实就是“消除隔阂”的意思。每次我要是和朋友有什么不愉快我都会这么做，clear the air. 坦诚地谈谈问题，其实你们会发现，没有什么是不能解决的。说到这，你是不是也有写电子邮件被误解的时候? 下面的例子里，一个领导要告诉我们，如果下属误解了他的邮件他会怎么做，让我们来听听看：

"One of my assistants got really upset with me over an e-mail I wrote her. She felt that I was criticizing her for not doing her job right. But my intent was to offer some helpful suggestions. I've invited her out for coffee this afternoon. I'd like to CLEAR THE AIR. I'm hoping to explain what I meant, so that she doesn't feel upset anymore."

[这段话是说: 因为我写的一封电子邮件，我的一名助理很不高兴。她以为我是在批评她工作做得不好，但实际上我只是想给她提一些建议。我邀请她下午一起去喝咖啡。我想跟她消除隔阂，解释一下我真正的意思，希望她不再难过了。]

这就是为什么我对写email特别小心。很多时候一个词，你写的是一个意思，别人看就是另一种语气。所以对我来说，I prefer face-to-face conversation over e-mail. 比起电子邮件，我更喜欢面对面的谈话。

上面我们说到消除隔阂，其实，家庭成员之间的关系特别微妙，也特别难控制。由于接触的太多，我们很多时候可能不经意就伤害了自己在乎的人。下面就是这样一个例子，我们来听一听:

"When mom asked me if she could move in with me after dad died, I told her I needed to think about it. It's not that I don't love her. It's just that I live so far away that she wouldn't be able to see her friends or enjoy her life like before. Fortunately, over dinner last night, we CLEARED THE AIR. She realized that her happiness is very important to me."

[这段话是说: 爸爸过世后，妈妈问我能不能搬来和我一起住。我告诉她我需要考虑一下。其实，我不是不爱妈妈，而是我住得太远，搬来跟我一起住，她就没法像以前那样去见朋友，像以前那样享受生活了。还好，昨天吃晚饭时我们消除了隔阂。她意识到，她的快乐对我来说是非常重要的。]

真高兴听到这母女俩能消除隔阂。在很多文化里，子女是要照顾年长的父母的。但其实，有时候让老人离开她熟悉的环境并不是一件好事。Both parties should be willing to have a frank conversation, it could save everyone from CLEARING THE AIR later on. 双方应该开诚布公地谈谈，这样日后就不用再去消除隔阂了。